Sunday, April 09, 2006

With power comes responsibility...

To know that I matter and can make a difference makes me feel excited - for about five minutes. Then I start to get scared. That means I have responsibility - what I do can impact other people. Even more scarily, what I don't do could impact them.

A few years ago, a friend came to me for advice. Lots of people were telling her what to do, but she wan't sure. I happened to be really stressed that day, so instead giving her my time and attention to help her weigh up the arguments for and against, I told her that she had to make up her own mind and do what she thought was right. I chose whatever else it was I was doing over her.

Can I remember what I was doing that was so important I chose to do it over helping my friend? No. But I remember her asking for my help and fobbing her off without really paying her much attention. The decision she made has changed her and caused her a lot of pain and heartache. I don't know if my help would have made any difference, but I always wonder and I feel responsible in some ways.

I can't second guess every little thing I do and say. I'd never get anthing done. What I can do is to be myself and trust in God. I finally made the decision to blog for a reason. I'm sitting here, typing this now for a reason. I don't know what that reason is, only that I feel compelled to write this. So here I am, being me and trusting that God knows what he's doing.


PeteB said...

Hi Louise. You'll be pleased to know that someone's read your thoughts! Wise words indeed. I've found that if you get a "random" thought to do something for someone - just do it - straight away - without stopping too long to rationalise. It's normally come from God!

louise said...

Hi Pete,

Thanks for your comments - I really appreciate them.

I find that when I put my embarassment to one side and do whatever it is, I always feel great. If I don't do whatever it is, I always feel bad. God signposts it really well, I'm just not so good at paying attention.