Sunday, April 09, 2006

With power comes responsibility...

To know that I matter and can make a difference makes me feel excited - for about five minutes. Then I start to get scared. That means I have responsibility - what I do can impact other people. Even more scarily, what I don't do could impact them.

A few years ago, a friend came to me for advice. Lots of people were telling her what to do, but she wan't sure. I happened to be really stressed that day, so instead giving her my time and attention to help her weigh up the arguments for and against, I told her that she had to make up her own mind and do what she thought was right. I chose whatever else it was I was doing over her.

Can I remember what I was doing that was so important I chose to do it over helping my friend? No. But I remember her asking for my help and fobbing her off without really paying her much attention. The decision she made has changed her and caused her a lot of pain and heartache. I don't know if my help would have made any difference, but I always wonder and I feel responsible in some ways.

I can't second guess every little thing I do and say. I'd never get anthing done. What I can do is to be myself and trust in God. I finally made the decision to blog for a reason. I'm sitting here, typing this now for a reason. I don't know what that reason is, only that I feel compelled to write this. So here I am, being me and trusting that God knows what he's doing.

2 comments:

PeteB said...

Hi Louise. You'll be pleased to know that someone's read your thoughts! Wise words indeed. I've found that if you get a "random" thought to do something for someone - just do it - straight away - without stopping too long to rationalise. It's normally come from God!

louise said...

Hi Pete,

Thanks for your comments - I really appreciate them.

I find that when I put my embarassment to one side and do whatever it is, I always feel great. If I don't do whatever it is, I always feel bad. God signposts it really well, I'm just not so good at paying attention.

Louise