Sunday, April 16, 2006

This Easter...

...has been the most bizarre Easter I have ever experienced. I still feel okay. Apart from last night, I've felt okay throughout all the major services. I think I know why.

Last night (the most important, in terms of complexity and musical content) our choir leader walked away and refused to lead or sing. Five minutes before the start of the service. Over something so tiny, it's not even worth mentioning. Since I have been deputising for her for the last couple of years and I was cantoring the psalms, I took over and led the choir through the service. For three hours.

It was the most terrifying thing I have ever done, because I had very little idea what/when/how/why things were supposed to be happening. If I had not been feeling okay previously, I do not think I would have made it through the service. Although I was really upset (to the point of physically shaking), no one else seemed to realise the magnitude of what happened until it was all over. In fact, the choir got more compliments on last night's music than the previous two days.

But almost as soon as it was over, and I told someone (and had a drink) I felt okay again.

On reflection, I think I have been sheltered from the full spiritual imact of Good Friday and Easter to enable me to function through last night. I knew something was up when I did not get emotionally effected by Good Friday - there was no obvious reason for me to feel as okay as I did.

All I can say, is that God really does work in mysterious ways.

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