We took the Confirmation group to Farnborough Abbey today. Very exciting because I took the day off work, it was out of London and I got to spend the day with friends and friendly-type people talking about what is important.
I didn't enjoy it much at the time because I have a bit of a head cold, but I feel more relaxed and more myself this evening.
Our young people found two things really strange (as in alien) - the silence and nature. The Guestmaster, Brother Thomas, took us on a walk through the woods - for all of five minutes. The kids almost freaked out - "Ah, a spider", "Somethings hitting me" (a branch!) and slipping over a log that you could walk over, are just some of the highlights.
They also could not cope with the silence, or even being quiet. As soon as we were back on the coach or in a separate room for our lunch, out came the mobile phones and the MP3 players plus loud chat to create that 'comforting' hum of background noise (so called because it is unwelcome!) we seem to be surrounded by. Even in the Church and when asked, unless there was something specific to draw their attention, they talked.
Let me just relate this, which explains some of it and is also a little bothersome.
Two of the boys in my group really don't know when to shut up - in the nicest possible way. They're always asking questions and have something valid to say, but they are not so good at listening and letting others speak. I often tell my whole group to 'take a deep breath' and they all know it means to calm down and pay attention. It's evolved into a joke with these two - I just have to look at them or gesture and they smile, take deep breaths and - most importantly - shut up.
So today, we were in Church, with nothing to do but pray (!) for about 15 minutes whilst some people went to the bathroom. The two were chatting quietly, so I gave them 'A Look'. They responded as usual, and then pointed at two older Catechists who were sitting in front of them, chatting away without a care in the world.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Words and Feelings
I'm used to using words like anger, love, joy etc to describe feelings - someone's emotional state at a particular place and time. Feelings and emotions fluctuate and are forever changing - usually depending on external things like where I am and what has just happened. If I don't get enough sleep, I feel tired. If I drink Coca Cola or eat sweeties, I feel full of energy or totally hyper until the sugar high wears off and I feel depressed or sad.
In our 'Untold Blessings' study group last week, one idea (and this is the gist of it) really stood out:
This caused some discussion. Most of us tend to think of wrath, or anger as an emotion. To describe the 'Wrath of X' is to describe what someone does when their emotion is anger - talk loudly or shout, agressive, not open to reason or discussion, closed body language, decisive gestures and so on.
But the Wrath of God is not an emotion. So what is it? According to the above, it is a characteristic of God (as much as I understand God to have characteristics). And, it cannot be described - it is not the same - as the emotion.
So we have the same word, with two separate, different, discrete meanings:
In our 'Untold Blessings' study group last week, one idea (and this is the gist of it) really stood out:
The Wrath of God is not an emotion, but his passion to set things right.
This caused some discussion. Most of us tend to think of wrath, or anger as an emotion. To describe the 'Wrath of X' is to describe what someone does when their emotion is anger - talk loudly or shout, agressive, not open to reason or discussion, closed body language, decisive gestures and so on.
But the Wrath of God is not an emotion. So what is it? According to the above, it is a characteristic of God (as much as I understand God to have characteristics). And, it cannot be described - it is not the same - as the emotion.
So we have the same word, with two separate, different, discrete meanings:
- Wrath - the emotion, which most of us recognise and can identify, and
- Wrath - the characteristic. About which I know nothing.
This leads me to wonder if this is true for most - if not all - the words we commonly use to describe our feelings and emotions. Is there a joyful feeling (that can change) and a separate joyful characteristic (that is part of a person and does not change)? Is there a sad emotion and a sad characteristic?
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Youth Festival
There is a Youth 2000 Prayer Festival from 23rd-25th June in Brentwood.
Youth 2000 events are like nothing else I have ever been to. There is an article on the Youth 2000 website describing what a Y2K event is like, if you want to find our more.
Youth 2000 events are like nothing else I have ever been to. There is an article on the Youth 2000 website describing what a Y2K event is like, if you want to find our more.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Living
It is not that someone else is preventing you from living happily;
you yourself do not know what you want.
Rather than admit this,
you pretend that someone else
is keeping you from exercising your liberty.
Who is this?
It is you yourself.
you yourself do not know what you want.
Rather than admit this,
you pretend that someone else
is keeping you from exercising your liberty.
Who is this?
It is you yourself.
Thomas Merton
New Seeds of Contemplation
A seminarian came to talk to our Confirmation groups this evening about Vocation. He was so much himself, I found it unnerving. I found his talk uncomfortable to listen to, only because it was so true.
I heard a talk from a careers advisor last month (the talk itself was about interacting with young people) who referenced the MBTI - a personality indicator test. He talked about knowing who you are and doing what you are meant to do in terms of doing what comes naturally, unforced, what you fit.
I can only think of two non-religious, non-clerical people (one I know well, one I've met briefly) so completely themselves and doing what they are meant to be doing.
Just wondering again...
Has anyone tried laughing at the DVC yet? As in, when someone asks what you think about it, treating the whole premise as funny and ridiculous? And then, start to talk about its failure as a novel/story/thriller/writing/toilet paper (just kidding about the last).
Everyone agrees that it's not a literary masterpiece or even a good read. Who wants to relive English lit exams ('compare and contrast...', 'analyse this text...')?
It killed the conversation in five minutes flat.
Everyone agrees that it's not a literary masterpiece or even a good read. Who wants to relive English lit exams ('compare and contrast...', 'analyse this text...')?
It killed the conversation in five minutes flat.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Just wondering...
I've been reading a lot of the DVC commentary and stuff around this weekend. More bothered by people's reaction to the DVC than the film/book/FICTION itself. But, that said...
Isn't blasphemy against Christianity illegal in the UK (I vaguely recall hearing a debate some time ago about how we should have a blasphemy law covering all religions or none at all... I can't remember clearly or specifics)?
If so, shouldn't we put our money where our (collective) mouths are and prosecute Dan Brown etc under it? It has been said that any other real organisation depicted in such a fantastic (as in 'made up', not 'good') way would sue the pants off whoever had the cheek to say such things. Actually, most of the transnational organisations would sue the pants off you for saying something true that they didn't like (McLibel, anyone?).
Maybe the gullable and those halfway to thinking that there might be something in this, would think again if we used the system and responded in a recognisable fashion. They obviously aren't registering what we're doing so far...
Isn't blasphemy against Christianity illegal in the UK (I vaguely recall hearing a debate some time ago about how we should have a blasphemy law covering all religions or none at all... I can't remember clearly or specifics)?
If so, shouldn't we put our money where our (collective) mouths are and prosecute Dan Brown etc under it? It has been said that any other real organisation depicted in such a fantastic (as in 'made up', not 'good') way would sue the pants off whoever had the cheek to say such things. Actually, most of the transnational organisations would sue the pants off you for saying something true that they didn't like (McLibel, anyone?).
Maybe the gullable and those halfway to thinking that there might be something in this, would think again if we used the system and responded in a recognisable fashion. They obviously aren't registering what we're doing so far...
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Me and the TV part 1 - Eastenders
I have a problem. I have started disagreeing with the TV and telling it so. It takes a lot for me to openly disagree with someone, especially in front of other people (i.e. my family).
It started when I was watching Eastenders (a popular soap opera in the UK). The characters (too strong a word, but I can't think of another) in it do and say out-of-character things for silly reasons. Just think about this for a second: your 10 year old son has recently moved back to England from abroad after his mother (your ex-wife) and step father were killed. He's living with his older brother (who is about your age), whom you really dislike. Do you:
So, I started asking out loud 'Why?'. Which then became 'Why are these people so stupid?'
Then I started to worry (no, not because I was talking to the TV) because behind a scene in a soap like Eastenders, are lots of people - the actors, the writers, the directors, the producers, not to mention the viewers, the critics ... etc. All these people have 'bought into' the stories and 'characters'. They validate the story and characters. And presumably, think it's okay ('cos if it wasn't there would either be changes or a drop in ratings).
It suggests to me, that the people involved in Eastenders (both viewers and behind the scenes) behave or witness this kind of behaviour. It suggests that doing what you feel and want to is the norm. It suggests that managing your feelings and wants and being able to discipline yourself to do the right thing is not. It suggests that as long as you say the right things but don't actually do the right things, that what you are doing is okay.
And now, go and read this post from the Anchoress, who explains why this type of thinking is disturbing better than I ever could.
It started when I was watching Eastenders (a popular soap opera in the UK). The characters (too strong a word, but I can't think of another) in it do and say out-of-character things for silly reasons. Just think about this for a second: your 10 year old son has recently moved back to England from abroad after his mother (your ex-wife) and step father were killed. He's living with his older brother (who is about your age), whom you really dislike. Do you:
- Put your dislike of the older brother to the back of your mind, put your son first and do your best to help him through his grief and being in England, or
- Threaten the older brother, demand your son lives with you regardless, generally swagger about talking about how important family is but not match what you say with actions, and then wonder when your son runs away (in other words behave as normal)?
So, I started asking out loud 'Why?'. Which then became 'Why are these people so stupid?'
Then I started to worry (no, not because I was talking to the TV) because behind a scene in a soap like Eastenders, are lots of people - the actors, the writers, the directors, the producers, not to mention the viewers, the critics ... etc. All these people have 'bought into' the stories and 'characters'. They validate the story and characters. And presumably, think it's okay ('cos if it wasn't there would either be changes or a drop in ratings).
It suggests to me, that the people involved in Eastenders (both viewers and behind the scenes) behave or witness this kind of behaviour. It suggests that doing what you feel and want to is the norm. It suggests that managing your feelings and wants and being able to discipline yourself to do the right thing is not. It suggests that as long as you say the right things but don't actually do the right things, that what you are doing is okay.
And now, go and read this post from the Anchoress, who explains why this type of thinking is disturbing better than I ever could.
What we do
In working with (young) people,
do not try to call them back to where they were,
and do not try to call them to where you are,
as beautiful as that place may seem to you.
You must have the courage to go with them
to a place that neither you nor they have ever been to before.
do not try to call them back to where they were,
and do not try to call them to where you are,
as beautiful as that place may seem to you.
You must have the courage to go with them
to a place that neither you nor they have ever been to before.
From Christianity Rediscovered by Vincent Donovan
Quoted in Off the Beaten Track by Richard Passmore
My brackets and emphasis
Isn't this it?
Answers
Just been going through my emails, and I came across this from the Pope's catechesis at the General Audience on Wednesday;
"The Gospels allow us to follow [Simon Peter's] spiritual itinerary step by step. The starting point was the call by Jesus, which came on a day like any other, while Peter was busy at his work as a fisherman." Jesus said to him "'let down your nets for a catch.' ... Simon the fisherman trusted this rabbi, who gave him no answers but called on him to have faith. ... Peter allowed himself to be involved in this great adventure. ... He was generous, he recognized his limits but believed in the One Who called him and followed his heart. He said yes and became a disciple of Jesus."
I've heard two sermons this weekend, both directed at children. Listening to one, I was bored out of my wits - it was based on imparting facts about the Mass. Listening to the other, I was challenged and uplifted - it restated what Jesus had done for us and asked us what we could do in return. I've been trying to work out why I had such a different reaction to the two sermons, and I think B16's catechesis explains it.
The first sermon does everything for me - tells me all the facts and explains them - but it doesn't let me make up my own mind. There is no other option than the one outlined and I have to follow it or I am wrong. I rebelled against that judgement by not listening to most of it and thinking about other things (like what the choir were singing next and playing my favourite Church game, 'Which Mass would you rather be at?').
The second sermon doesn't pretend to be telling me something new, it reminds me of what I already know and acknowledges that. It doesn't tell me what to do, it gives me ideas. It didn't even tell me that I had to do anything. It was all left up to me. I really tried to listen to it, dispite my head being full of other things. I felt better - for about five minutes, when I had to start thinking about what the choir were singing next(!).
I like working out answers for myself - that way I own them, they become part of me and my identity. Being given answers from on high annoys me - because they are not my answers, they are imposed and they don't belong to me. I feel cheated out of the experience I would have had, had I been left to work out my answer for myself.
This is what Jesus did - he never gave a straight answer. He told stories, and left people to find the meaning themselves. This is what I (mostly) like, because there is always something new to learn, some new meaning that I didn't spot before. In everything. Each story teaches what each of us need to learn at a particular time. All you need is faith (... and love... and patience).
Imagine how boring it would be if Jesus had given a straightforward, factual answer for everything and not left us to work it out for ourselves?
If Jesus trusted us enough to work things out, why can't we trust each other to do the same?
"The Gospels allow us to follow [Simon Peter's] spiritual itinerary step by step. The starting point was the call by Jesus, which came on a day like any other, while Peter was busy at his work as a fisherman." Jesus said to him "'let down your nets for a catch.' ... Simon the fisherman trusted this rabbi, who gave him no answers but called on him to have faith. ... Peter allowed himself to be involved in this great adventure. ... He was generous, he recognized his limits but believed in the One Who called him and followed his heart. He said yes and became a disciple of Jesus."
I've heard two sermons this weekend, both directed at children. Listening to one, I was bored out of my wits - it was based on imparting facts about the Mass. Listening to the other, I was challenged and uplifted - it restated what Jesus had done for us and asked us what we could do in return. I've been trying to work out why I had such a different reaction to the two sermons, and I think B16's catechesis explains it.
The first sermon does everything for me - tells me all the facts and explains them - but it doesn't let me make up my own mind. There is no other option than the one outlined and I have to follow it or I am wrong. I rebelled against that judgement by not listening to most of it and thinking about other things (like what the choir were singing next and playing my favourite Church game, 'Which Mass would you rather be at?').
The second sermon doesn't pretend to be telling me something new, it reminds me of what I already know and acknowledges that. It doesn't tell me what to do, it gives me ideas. It didn't even tell me that I had to do anything. It was all left up to me. I really tried to listen to it, dispite my head being full of other things. I felt better - for about five minutes, when I had to start thinking about what the choir were singing next(!).
I like working out answers for myself - that way I own them, they become part of me and my identity. Being given answers from on high annoys me - because they are not my answers, they are imposed and they don't belong to me. I feel cheated out of the experience I would have had, had I been left to work out my answer for myself.
This is what Jesus did - he never gave a straight answer. He told stories, and left people to find the meaning themselves. This is what I (mostly) like, because there is always something new to learn, some new meaning that I didn't spot before. In everything. Each story teaches what each of us need to learn at a particular time. All you need is faith (... and love... and patience).
Imagine how boring it would be if Jesus had given a straightforward, factual answer for everything and not left us to work it out for ourselves?
If Jesus trusted us enough to work things out, why can't we trust each other to do the same?
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Young Adults Event
The next 'Young Adults in the West' event will be on Thursady 1st June.
I have choir practice instead. Joy (!).
I have choir practice instead. Joy (!).
Music evening
The Diocese is holding an evening of music and prayer for music ministers and other liturgical ministers.
I'm sure the 19th June is a Monday, not a Wednesday. Oh well...
Six people subscribe to the Diocese's RSS feed. I can't decide if this is good or bad (i.e. there are 6 people in the Diocese are that interested - a good thing - or only 6 people in the Diocese know how to use/read/what RSS feed is - a not so good thing).
If you belong to the Diocese of Westminster, go to www.bloglines.com and take it from there.
I'm sure the 19th June is a Monday, not a Wednesday. Oh well...
Six people subscribe to the Diocese's RSS feed. I can't decide if this is good or bad (i.e. there are 6 people in the Diocese are that interested - a good thing - or only 6 people in the Diocese know how to use/read/what RSS feed is - a not so good thing).
If you belong to the Diocese of Westminster, go to www.bloglines.com and take it from there.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Catholic stuff on the BBC
Flux
I have the strongest feeling that I should be doing something else, somewhere else. Dislocated is the best word I can come up with.
I've been in this state, on and off, for a little while now - but it's been pretty constant for the past couple of days.
I can't get any further though. Or more specific.
I've been reading a lot (Mansfield Park by Jane Austin, Lyon's Pride by Anne MacCaffrey, Dancing Shoes by Noel Streatfield, Finding Sanctary by Abbot Christopher, the latest issue of Psychologies, The New Policeman by Kate *Something, I can't remember* - and I've finally found my copy of Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton). I know full well that I'm trying to distract myself. I'm also really busy with things I don't want to do (in that I would prefer not to do them, but also that I'm not sure that I should be doing them).
I had a fear when I was about 16, that life would gradually lose all the joy and fun and become just duty. I can't think of anything worse.
Finding Sanctuary talks about how we are tricked into being busy and that being busy is the only way to be. We feel like someone else is in control of our lives. Other people are in control of my life - because I let them. Because I don't have enough time, or self-confidence or vision to decide for myself or challenge them.
In some ways, I'm really tired of being different from the social norm. However, when push comes to shove, I wouldn't not be me. It seems like I am coming to a crossroads - I'm leading two parallel lives. I have chosen between them, but putting that choice into practice (i.e. telling other people) is a very scary thought.
I can't see the outcome, which bothers me. I like to be prepared.
I've been in this state, on and off, for a little while now - but it's been pretty constant for the past couple of days.
I can't get any further though. Or more specific.
I've been reading a lot (Mansfield Park by Jane Austin, Lyon's Pride by Anne MacCaffrey, Dancing Shoes by Noel Streatfield, Finding Sanctary by Abbot Christopher, the latest issue of Psychologies, The New Policeman by Kate *Something, I can't remember* - and I've finally found my copy of Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton). I know full well that I'm trying to distract myself. I'm also really busy with things I don't want to do (in that I would prefer not to do them, but also that I'm not sure that I should be doing them).
I had a fear when I was about 16, that life would gradually lose all the joy and fun and become just duty. I can't think of anything worse.
Finding Sanctuary talks about how we are tricked into being busy and that being busy is the only way to be. We feel like someone else is in control of our lives. Other people are in control of my life - because I let them. Because I don't have enough time, or self-confidence or vision to decide for myself or challenge them.
In some ways, I'm really tired of being different from the social norm. However, when push comes to shove, I wouldn't not be me. It seems like I am coming to a crossroads - I'm leading two parallel lives. I have chosen between them, but putting that choice into practice (i.e. telling other people) is a very scary thought.
I can't see the outcome, which bothers me. I like to be prepared.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Feeling the stress
I had a good weekend break, away from London in Ireland. Life in Ireland is like an alternate reality. It's really hard to describe - it's just so different. I don't know if it's the family, the land, taking part in farm life, the ancestral connection (some kind of genetic memory thing? Or is that too sci-fi?) or that it's actually real and living in London is the unreal, manufactured reality.
Anyway, back to work today. All I could think was 'I don't want to be here'.
I had a realisation that for basically the next two months, I have choir/extra-Church type stuff almost every weekend. Literally, my life for the next two months is work, parish, work, choir and all the associated planning and politics that go with it.
I'm feeling the stress and the weight of expectation for something I am totally unprepared for.
I am not telepathic. I am not God. I'm not that competent a musician. When I'm preparing for any kind of service (even regular Sunday Mass), I need time. I need time to read the readings and pray about them. I need time to go through the Choir's repitoire and select music. If necessary, I need time to choose new pieces, learn them and then teach them to the Choir. The Choir then needs time to learn and get familiar with the music. For things we're not so familiar with, we need at least two rehearsals to get to an appropriate standard.
It seems like this is all extra stuff that I don't have time to get my head around - and work and sleep and live and not go mad. It seems a bit rude to God to have all this stuff coming up and not be able to do (or at least try to do) it well.
Friday, May 12, 2006
This weekend
My godson (who is also my first cousin) is making his First Holy Communion this weekend, so I'm going to Ireland for a few days to be there for it (so probably won't be posting for a couple of days). Our uncle is celebrating the First Communion Mass on Saturday morning, so it's a real family occasion.
I've become very aware of the 'rules' and the 'right' way the Mass is celebrated - our PP is very fussy about the rules, and not necesarily in a positive way (but that is a whole other story I doubt I'll ever tell because I get too frustrated. Anyway...). In Ireland, they have a different focus - but I haven't worked out what it is yet. The Mass tends to be more relaxed, correct (as far as I can tell), but less 'right'. The Mass is less formal, but the relationship between people and priest is very formal. Whereas in England, the Mass is very formal and the relationship between people and priest is more relaxed.
When we go home to Ireland, we (me and my sisters and my godson and his brothers) have a tradition of going to the local graveyard to pay our respects at the family graves, especially our grandparents. Last time I was home we went to the graveyard as usual. And suddenly the boys came out with all these questions: 'What happens when you die?', 'What's heaven like?', 'Are all these people in heaven?', 'What's God like?'....... I was completely overwhelmed - it was so unexpected. It was almost like they had been saving up these questions to ask me - they knew I would answer them (or try to).
I'm almost afraid what I'll be asked this time (!).
I've become very aware of the 'rules' and the 'right' way the Mass is celebrated - our PP is very fussy about the rules, and not necesarily in a positive way (but that is a whole other story I doubt I'll ever tell because I get too frustrated. Anyway...). In Ireland, they have a different focus - but I haven't worked out what it is yet. The Mass tends to be more relaxed, correct (as far as I can tell), but less 'right'. The Mass is less formal, but the relationship between people and priest is very formal. Whereas in England, the Mass is very formal and the relationship between people and priest is more relaxed.
When we go home to Ireland, we (me and my sisters and my godson and his brothers) have a tradition of going to the local graveyard to pay our respects at the family graves, especially our grandparents. Last time I was home we went to the graveyard as usual. And suddenly the boys came out with all these questions: 'What happens when you die?', 'What's heaven like?', 'Are all these people in heaven?', 'What's God like?'....... I was completely overwhelmed - it was so unexpected. It was almost like they had been saving up these questions to ask me - they knew I would answer them (or try to).
I'm almost afraid what I'll be asked this time (!).
Thursday, May 11, 2006
It's not just me
In a previous post, I tried to explain why I can't answer the question 'Why are you a Catholic?' properly. I could answer 'How are you a Catholic?', but the 'Why' pretty much eludes me.
Anyway, I've started reading Finding sanctuary - monastic steps for everyday life by Abbot Christopher Jamison from Worth Abbey. And on page 5, the first page of the 'Introduction', he talks about answering the question 'Why did you become a monk?'
Nuff said.
Anyway, I've started reading Finding sanctuary - monastic steps for everyday life by Abbot Christopher Jamison from Worth Abbey. And on page 5, the first page of the 'Introduction', he talks about answering the question 'Why did you become a monk?'
Each situation requires a different answer.
Similarly, I have offered various answers for various contexts.
But the answer I really want to give is: 'I don't know.'
I do not know why I became a monk, because
the reason I joined is not the reason I stayed.
Similarly, I have offered various answers for various contexts.
But the answer I really want to give is: 'I don't know.'
I do not know why I became a monk, because
the reason I joined is not the reason I stayed.
Nuff said.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Another quiz result
Okay, I know it's quite sad, but I really like doing these quizzes. They're fun and I get pictures on my blog.
Talent: 56%
Take the Talent, Lifer, or Mandarin quiz. Ever so slightly daunted at how correct some of this is. I am preparing my CV as I have decided that my current job is slowly suffocating me (to be fair, I have given it a year). I'm planning to have left by the end of the summer. And I have actually told my parents that I'm planning on leaving ( I've left out the bit where I'm not sure what I'm going to do next and that it's highly likely there won't be much money in it. One step at a time).
I'm a Talent!
You're a risk-taker, and you follow your passions. You're determined to take on the world and succeed on your own terms. Whether in the arts, science, engineering, business, or politics, you fearlessly express your own vision of the world. You're not afraid of a fight, and you're not afraid to bet your future on your own abilities. If you find a job boring or stifling, you're already preparing your resume. You believe in doing what you love, and you're not willing to settle for an ordinary life.
Talent: 56%
Lifer: 38%
Mandarin: 44%
Take the Talent, Lifer, or Mandarin quiz. Ever so slightly daunted at how correct some of this is. I am preparing my CV as I have decided that my current job is slowly suffocating me (to be fair, I have given it a year). I'm planning to have left by the end of the summer. And I have actually told my parents that I'm planning on leaving ( I've left out the bit where I'm not sure what I'm going to do next and that it's highly likely there won't be much money in it. One step at a time).
Sunday, May 07, 2006
May Procession
In May and October, my parish holds Processions in honour of Our Lady. We walk around the streets of my parish (stopping for a service-type thing at a local school in May), carrying the processional statue of Mary, praying the rosary and singing. They are not my favourite parish events, but I attend every year.
So today was our May Procession. The sermon was really good ('What does Mary teach us? To listen to Jesus and do what He tells you'). The choir were really good (I'm growing into my new role of 'coordinating' the choir and I'm really beginning to enjoy it. We're having fun with music - it's cool!). It didn't rain, which was disappointing. It almost doesn't feel like a real event unless it rains.
The rest of it was soooooooooooo boring. It was a challenge to stay focused - I gave up on prayerful after about 10 minutes. The only place I have found where the rosary is prayed in such a way that I stay both focused and prayerful is at the regular Covent Garden Youth 2000 meeting.
Like I said here, I just didn't believe what other people saying and singing.
I was at a Catechesis with an American Bishop in Germany at WYD 2005, who said that two marks of a Christian are joy and kindness (this is pretty much the only thing I remember from WYD Catechesis - the rest of the time I was looking after fainting friends or asleep). It's the kind of joy that (as my Mother would say) 'shines out through your eyes'. It's compelling and indescribable, but you know it when you see it. Out of all the people I saw and spoke to today, I can count on one hand those who had that joy. Hence, boring!
So today was our May Procession. The sermon was really good ('What does Mary teach us? To listen to Jesus and do what He tells you'). The choir were really good (I'm growing into my new role of 'coordinating' the choir and I'm really beginning to enjoy it. We're having fun with music - it's cool!). It didn't rain, which was disappointing. It almost doesn't feel like a real event unless it rains.
The rest of it was soooooooooooo boring. It was a challenge to stay focused - I gave up on prayerful after about 10 minutes. The only place I have found where the rosary is prayed in such a way that I stay both focused and prayerful is at the regular Covent Garden Youth 2000 meeting.
Like I said here, I just didn't believe what other people saying and singing.
I was at a Catechesis with an American Bishop in Germany at WYD 2005, who said that two marks of a Christian are joy and kindness (this is pretty much the only thing I remember from WYD Catechesis - the rest of the time I was looking after fainting friends or asleep). It's the kind of joy that (as my Mother would say) 'shines out through your eyes'. It's compelling and indescribable, but you know it when you see it. Out of all the people I saw and spoke to today, I can count on one hand those who had that joy. Hence, boring!
Why are you a Catholic?
I was asked this question recently.
My answer: "I don't know why. God is playing a game with me".
Seriously, I cannot explain why I am a Catholic. I wouldn't not be one. The lack of explaination doesn't bother me, but it appears to bother other people.
The thing is, I think that Catholicism is primarily a way of life. It's not meant to be just a theory you study (although study is part of it). So asking me why I am a Catholic is like asking me
My answer: "I don't know why. God is playing a game with me".
Seriously, I cannot explain why I am a Catholic. I wouldn't not be one. The lack of explaination doesn't bother me, but it appears to bother other people.
The thing is, I think that Catholicism is primarily a way of life. It's not meant to be just a theory you study (although study is part of it). So asking me why I am a Catholic is like asking me
- Why are you Irish?
- Why do you get the tube to work?
- Why do like reading?
- Why do you have eyes?
Sure, in some ways I can answer these questions. I'm Irish because my parents and my whole extended family are. But being Irish is more than that - it's about the history, the traditions, the language, the attitude and on and on. There is a quality to being Irish that I can recognise, but I can't quantify it. I know people whose parents are Irish, but they are not. They don't carry it with them.
Being Irish is part of who I am. As is being a Catholic, a librarian, an alto etc.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
I'm a book!
You're Alice's Adventures in Wonderland!
by Lewis Carroll
After stumbling down the wrong turn in life, you've had your mind
opened to a number of strange and curious things. As life grows curiouser and curiouser,
you have to ask yourself what's real and what's the picture of illusion. Little is coming
to your aid in discerning fantasy from fact, but the line between them is so blurry that
it's starting not to matter. Be careful around rabbit holes and those who smile to much,
and just avoid hat shops altogether.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
I'm so going to have to read this book (which I've always avoided - until now).
Friday, May 05, 2006
My tuppence worth
Okay, so I kind of have to refer to the Da Vinci Code (what with the film coming out this month, and all) so I may as well get on with it.
I read it about 18 months ago, mainly to see what all the fuss was about. In my professional librarian's opinion, it's your average trashy thriller page turner with an alternative history backdrop. There is actually a Sci-Fi subgenre called 'Alternative history', where you get stories based in universes where the Nazis won WW2, or Napoleon conquered England and how that one change has affected the world.
Obviously, as a Catholic, it had slightly more resonance - but essentially, I just thought of it as a story. As with any story, the question is what does it teach us and how is it relevant to my life - 'cos that's what Jesus taught us to do ;-). What really stood out for me was SYMBOLS.
The whole story of the DVC is based on the meaning given to symbols - images, actions, words that can mean more/different things than their literal meaning. For example, water. Is just water - two atoms of hydrogen, one of oxygen. But water is also essential to life => it can mean life. Aqua quenches and satisfies our thirst. L'eau is cleansing. And so on. One meaning is not the complete truth on its own, but together they make sense.
Inspired by this, I completely changed how I teach my Confirmation class. I don't teach how to speak the Church's language, distinct from regular life. I ask the class to read the symbols of our faith and then translate them into what they mean in regular life and what they mean in the Catholic Church. They always get it right. And it always surprises them that they didn't realise what stuff meant, but that they know the answer anyway.
I'm more open to the meaning of the symbols we use in our faith. What gets me, is that there is always another meaning, another hidden message. Just when I think I've cracked the code, I get a new insight. It's never dull or boring.
That's what I learnt from the Da Vinci Code. God works in mysterious ways.
I read it about 18 months ago, mainly to see what all the fuss was about. In my professional librarian's opinion, it's your average trashy thriller page turner with an alternative history backdrop. There is actually a Sci-Fi subgenre called 'Alternative history', where you get stories based in universes where the Nazis won WW2, or Napoleon conquered England and how that one change has affected the world.
Obviously, as a Catholic, it had slightly more resonance - but essentially, I just thought of it as a story. As with any story, the question is what does it teach us and how is it relevant to my life - 'cos that's what Jesus taught us to do ;-). What really stood out for me was SYMBOLS.
The whole story of the DVC is based on the meaning given to symbols - images, actions, words that can mean more/different things than their literal meaning. For example, water. Is just water - two atoms of hydrogen, one of oxygen. But water is also essential to life => it can mean life. Aqua quenches and satisfies our thirst. L'eau is cleansing. And so on. One meaning is not the complete truth on its own, but together they make sense.
Inspired by this, I completely changed how I teach my Confirmation class. I don't teach how to speak the Church's language, distinct from regular life. I ask the class to read the symbols of our faith and then translate them into what they mean in regular life and what they mean in the Catholic Church. They always get it right. And it always surprises them that they didn't realise what stuff meant, but that they know the answer anyway.
I'm more open to the meaning of the symbols we use in our faith. What gets me, is that there is always another meaning, another hidden message. Just when I think I've cracked the code, I get a new insight. It's never dull or boring.
That's what I learnt from the Da Vinci Code. God works in mysterious ways.
Untold Blessing
In the first Bridget Jones film, there's the scene when Bridget turns up to a party in fancy dress. She'd been told it was a type of fancy dress party. She was looking forward to it and made an effort to dress up. When she walked in, everyone else was wearing 'normal' clothes and did the whole look-and-smile-at-what-she's-wearing thing. Bridget was not just different, she was obviously different and on a completely different wavelength to everyone else.
That's how I felt this evening. We had a study group type thing - DVD (Untold Blessing) followed by discussion. I really liked the DVD - good preacher, mix of example and theory (life and theology) etc. I found the following discussion challenging and it's still bothering me. I'm not quite sure why, but I'll try to specify.
There was a reluctance to speak, let alone discuss. It wasn't a thinking silence, but rather I-have-nothing-to-say-and-I'm-not-even-going-to-say-that silence.
When some people did make comments, it seemed almost like they were repeating what they had heard somewhere else. Not that I necessarily disagreed with what they said or had issues with it, but I didn't believe them because they didn't believe/understand/live what they were saying.
I always find it hard to talk about spiritual things, because words just seem so inadaquate. This evening, I think we were all using the same words to mean different things. There were so many barriers to actually understanding each other - age, devotions we practice, life experience etc.
What was interesting was that different people attended than those who came to the previous study group, which made for a different atmosphere. With study group, you get the impression of learning, effort and a willingness to improve. Tonight was advertised more as 'watching a dvd' => a completely different atmosphere.
That's how I felt this evening. We had a study group type thing - DVD (Untold Blessing) followed by discussion. I really liked the DVD - good preacher, mix of example and theory (life and theology) etc. I found the following discussion challenging and it's still bothering me. I'm not quite sure why, but I'll try to specify.
There was a reluctance to speak, let alone discuss. It wasn't a thinking silence, but rather I-have-nothing-to-say-and-I'm-not-even-going-to-say-that silence.
When some people did make comments, it seemed almost like they were repeating what they had heard somewhere else. Not that I necessarily disagreed with what they said or had issues with it, but I didn't believe them because they didn't believe/understand/live what they were saying.
I always find it hard to talk about spiritual things, because words just seem so inadaquate. This evening, I think we were all using the same words to mean different things. There were so many barriers to actually understanding each other - age, devotions we practice, life experience etc.
What was interesting was that different people attended than those who came to the previous study group, which made for a different atmosphere. With study group, you get the impression of learning, effort and a willingness to improve. Tonight was advertised more as 'watching a dvd' => a completely different atmosphere.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Leadership
Would you really describe Einstein as a leader? I would go for visionary (or person with strange ideas) .
Election Day
We have local council elections in the UK today. I have not seen one of the candidates, their literature, their supporters or any other thing that might influence my vote. I didn't even know that we had three votes (I don't get the why of three votes, but never mind) until I got to the polling booth.
Anyway, it should be an entertaining results night - the Liberals and Tories proving their new leaders and Labour coping with three not-great Ministers plus Tony Blair. And Question Time is on tonight! Keep tuned to the BBC for the latest.
Anyway, it should be an entertaining results night - the Liberals and Tories proving their new leaders and Labour coping with three not-great Ministers plus Tony Blair. And Question Time is on tonight! Keep tuned to the BBC for the latest.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Nerd? Me?
Am I relieved to be only 'Lightly Nerdy'? Am I embarassed to be more that 50% nerdy? Well, I did study Mathematics with Theoretical Physics, so what else should I expect?
Confirmation class
Can I just say that love being a Confirmation catechist? No matter rubbish my day is, the kids in my class always make me feel better.
We've been plugging the Bright Lights festival to them for the past couple of weeks. As part of our confirmation programme, we've been watching Plugged In. And they love it. So when I told them that Fr. Stan Fortuna (who is heavily featured in Plugged In) was going to be a Bright Lights, some of them got really excited.
But today, one girl (whom I'll call 'A') was really upset. Her Dad has booked tickets for the family summer holiday, which means that she can't make Bright Lights. Gutted is not the word to describe her. She was discussing strategies with her mates as to how she could 'persuade' her Dad to change to tickets, leave her behind, almost anything - just so she could come to Bright Lights to meet Fr. Stan. What's more, her mates were as serious. These kids are really looking forward to going camping at a Catholic Youth Festival for a weekend in the summer.
As much as these kids are ignored and written off by our parish community, they take everything we talk about in class seriously and are making it part of their lives. Two of the girls in my group told me how they stood up for Jesus when their friends at school were taking the mickey. One of the boys quoted me a story from Sunday's sermon (he had taken it so much to heart that he couldn't remember where he had heard it). And they can laugh at what needs to be laughed at as well. They are so exciting to be around. They could teach us all so much.
We've been plugging the Bright Lights festival to them for the past couple of weeks. As part of our confirmation programme, we've been watching Plugged In. And they love it. So when I told them that Fr. Stan Fortuna (who is heavily featured in Plugged In) was going to be a Bright Lights, some of them got really excited.
But today, one girl (whom I'll call 'A') was really upset. Her Dad has booked tickets for the family summer holiday, which means that she can't make Bright Lights. Gutted is not the word to describe her. She was discussing strategies with her mates as to how she could 'persuade' her Dad to change to tickets, leave her behind, almost anything - just so she could come to Bright Lights to meet Fr. Stan. What's more, her mates were as serious. These kids are really looking forward to going camping at a Catholic Youth Festival for a weekend in the summer.
As much as these kids are ignored and written off by our parish community, they take everything we talk about in class seriously and are making it part of their lives. Two of the girls in my group told me how they stood up for Jesus when their friends at school were taking the mickey. One of the boys quoted me a story from Sunday's sermon (he had taken it so much to heart that he couldn't remember where he had heard it). And they can laugh at what needs to be laughed at as well. They are so exciting to be around. They could teach us all so much.
Fire@Pentecost
I heard about this event on Saturday. It's going to be a talk, Mass, BBQ and concert at the SPEC Centre on Sunday 4th June. Is it sad that I'm really excited about this already?
Monday, May 01, 2006
Care NOT Killing
A bill for assisted sucide is going through Parliament at the moment - obviously not a good thing. For more information and to sign the online petition, go to the Care NOT Killing site.
A little break...
I've been taking a little time out this Bank Holiday weekend. I went to the Discovering a Way day on Saturday - which I'll probably post more about in a little while. Choir has been going really well - we've been having fun with music again.
I've also made a firm decision to quit my job by the end of the summer.
I've also made a firm decision to quit my job by the end of the summer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
